What Makes a Wedding?

So this past weekend, my kid sister got married.  I was fortunate enough to be a member of the wedding party.  The senior member of the wedding party, might I add.  I was definitely the 'old head' in the group as my sister is nearly 12 years my junior, and her new husband entered the world 8 years after me.  So as your math might tell you...I was clearly the one the furthest past my prime.

This was the 6th time that I have been honored with being a groomsman.  Aside from that I've probably been to about a dozen or so weddings as an adult.  Each time it was a bit different.  Sometimes a lot different.  So I thought that I might share with you my next 'Top 11' list...

How to Make it YOUR Wedding:

11.  The size/number of guests:  I've been to one with about 40, and one that had about 200.  Sometimes this will be a product of where you live as compared to much of your family or friends, other times it will be the result of a game of 'one-upsmanship'.  Trying to out-do the last one that all of your friends were at.  I don't think that I've been to the latter (as far as I know).

10.  The decor:  Time of year is usually the thing that drives this one.  My wife and I got married a few weeks before Easter, so we had a lot of softer, pastel-like colors.  A friend of mine got married outdoors in May in the desert, and there was a very resort feeling to it all.  All are fine-just how you want it all to go down.  Sometimes you can save a lot of money by making things yourself.  Other times you just want to go all out.  Hey...it is your wedding...dowatchyalike.

9.  Size of wedding party:  you either can't make up your mind so you ask them all, or you have too many siblings, or you just say 'screw it' and pick dark horses to throw everyone off.  It isn't always black and white: sometimes outside factors play a part.  Maybe someone that you want to ask (or their spouse) is pregnant-due to give birth right around the time of the wedding.  Maybe some have to come from a long distance.  Maybe someone is a lifelong friend, but not necessarily as close to you NOW as others are.  Can be a lot of things that sway this decision.

8.  The music:  Some are all about the party, others all about the guests.  Then some just like to see the expression on the faces of the crowd when a certain song comes on.  Then if you are lucky, you get all three at once!  (My wife and I entered to 'Ice, Ice, Baby'.  Most of you reading this probably already knew that, or can easily picture it.)  Most recently, my new brother-in-law entered to 'Pomp and Circumstance'.  It takes all kinds to make the world go round.  It Takes Two to make a thing go right (one of my friends was introduced to that as he and his new bride entered the party).

7.  Transportation:  stretch limo, stretch escalade, horseback, hot air balloon, I've seen each of these.  I just still can't figure out how the wedding party didn't continue to GAIN altitude in the ballon as they emptied all the beer bottles?

6.  Food:  Buffet style, plated, vegetarian (there is always one!).  One thing is for certain, chicken will be involved.  Do you pay per person?  Minimum spend?  Is there a cheese platter?  Is that fish or tofu?  The plate is usually not enough food regardless of anything else, so you can only hope that the person next to you overdid it on the pigs in a blanket and doesn't want their filet.

5.  The beverages:  let's face it...this is what many look forward to about weddings:  The bar.  Often an open bar, sometimes not, but either way-people will drink more today than they usually do and  do so with little reservation.

4.  Time of day:  daytime weddings allow for a lot of extra hang-out time afterwards.  Maybe for/with family and friends that you haven't seen in a long time.  Night-time weddings seem to often have a bit of a more elegant, fomal feel to them.  Again, may also depend on factors like cost (we saved a lot of money by choosing the day slot), or travel for guests.

3.  Photographer:  the best shots are the ones that you never knew they took.  A good photographer does three things: 1-realizes this is your wedding, and heeds your request while respecfully suggesting things that a busy bride and groom might overlook. 2-acts like they want to be there because they love the art.  Sure don't want anyone bringing you down because they act like they got 'stuck' being assigned to you.  3-stays the hell out of the way.  Nothing like ruining a special moment with your new spouse by getting asked to 'hold that right there...ah perfect'.

2.  The Honeymoon:  do you leave right from the reception-whisked off to some secretie locale to enjoy the first days of married life?  Or do you wait, relish the moments that follow the whole thing and bask in the glory of your new life?  Then again, you might be a teacher and got married in the middle of the school year and be back at work on Monday morning!

1.  The style:  Is this going to be a 'pinky out when sipping your wine' type suarez?  Or will there not be enough recycling bins to hold all the empty beer bottles?  And if there were they'd likely get knocked over by the out of control dancing.  Hell-I've even been to a wedding with a self-serve keg.  Just as much of a good time as the formal evening ceremony, and the couple was just as married as anyone else.

Well there you have it.  Another compilation of my thoughts about a topic as far removed from the last one as can be.  I would thoroughly enjoy hearing from you about your wedding-what you like, what you don't-and what you did at yours.

Thanks for taking the time yet again.

Until next time...